Why I Wouldn’t Date Jesus

By: Jessica Pisani

As I was tucking in one of my favorite 9-year-olds, she prayed for me to find my husband. She and her little siblings are very invested and curious as to why I am not married yet. I’ve assured them–in so many words–that I’m good. I’ve been content with traveling and pursuing my dreams in New York. However, as the years have marched on, so has a lingering desire for companionship.

After praying, my favorite 9-year-old said, “If Jesus was a person I think he’d be the perfect husband for you. You should marry him! Well, I guess that wouldn’t be fair to everyone else.”

The thought ran laps across my mind and I found myself really pondering the thought, if Jesus was here in our lifetime, would I have said yes? At this point you may be thinking, of course you would, you crazy! Truthfully, I wasn’t sure. Jesus is the perfect match in every way (OBVI!), but I had to consider all of the fears, insecurities and apprehensions that have held me back from relationships in the past.

We picture Jesus as the Brawny man or, at least, the best version of a man. He was the originator of the long hair that could easily be thrown into a a trendy man bun…all the better to showcase his GQ/hipster-ish beard. He had throngs of people following him and even had a few party tricks (aka MIRACLES) up his sleeve. He was wise, kind, and loved kids (can I hear an amen?!). He had 12 best friends, a good family, plus–hello!–he was inheriting a universe. In short, Jesus puts Mr. Darcy to shame.

But, let’s think about this for a moment. The truth is, Jesus was plain in looks. He came from an average town and had parents who were scandalized because of him. He was a carpenter for 30 years which means he wasn’t rolling in the dough and seemingly aimless (like, where are your life goals, Jesus?). When he was doing his ministry, he was widely loved but also widely hated. He was misunderstood, even by those closest to him and he went against the grain. Plus, let’s not forget that Jesus had a crazy cousin named John who probably smelled weird and ate bugs.

The truth is, he wasn’t glamorous. He lived a humble life, and he ate with prostitutes and tax collectors. He did all the things we wouldn’t. He was extreme and average in all the areas we would prefer the opposite.

Bottom line, our “picker” is off these days. Our need for attention and validation mutes our desire for real true love. We want superman to rescue us from our singledom and insecurities, when the reality is he’ll come as Clark Kent.

When I realized I wasn’t sure I’d say yes to a marriage proposal from Jesus, I knew something needed to change (starting with the 80’s wedding dress I had pictured in my head). One of the best things I ever did was go to a counselor, who with prayer and effective tools, helped get to the root of my fears and insecurities. The issue wasn’t Jesus, it was my fear of being loved or seen.

Facing fears and being vulnerable isn’t a “single girl” thing. Rather, it’s a human thing. We as women have this incredible capacity to receive love when fear doesn’t stand in the way. We were created from Love itself, and to be loved extravagantly. I know that when we do the work and let Jesus chip away at the fears and insecurities, what will be left is this incredible authenticity–true, messy, real, and beautiful. An uninhibited girl, ready to say yes.



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Jessica currently resides between Arizona and Los Angeles, where she is helping a family take care of their little ones (who will likely run the world someday)She graduated from Parsons School of Design with a fashion marketing degree and for many years Jessica had a personal styling business to help women put life and style together. She’s traveled extensively, is an avid art enthusiast, and cares deeply about french fries and coconut milk ice cream. Jessica is also a writer, which has taken flight on her blog,  letterstoayoungheart.com.


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2016-10-25T13:22:06+00:00February 10, 2016|Love|12 Comments


  1. Bethany February 10, 2016 at 8:24 am - Reply

    This is soo good!!!!

  2. Debi February 10, 2016 at 8:55 am - Reply

    So inspiring & full of wisdom

  3. Lynn Kelly February 10, 2016 at 9:57 am - Reply


  4. Hannah February 10, 2016 at 10:33 am - Reply

    JEEESSSS!!! Dang girl. Now you’re messing. This is soooooo good.

  5. Darisa February 10, 2016 at 12:11 pm - Reply

    Fantastic article. Awesome perspective and thoughtfully insightful.

  6. Erianna February 10, 2016 at 2:16 pm - Reply

    Love this! and love Jess!

  7. Martina February 10, 2016 at 5:26 pm - Reply

    Jess what you have written is so good. I am going to get the young ladies at my church to read it.

  8. Michelle February 10, 2016 at 5:47 pm - Reply

    I had really never thought about this question before, and it is very thought provoking!! Thank you for being so open and honest about your journey.

  9. Adessa February 11, 2016 at 11:30 am - Reply

    What an insightful piece! Well done Jessica! I’ll be forwarding this every single woman I know!!!!

  10. Adriene Jordan February 24, 2016 at 11:31 am - Reply

    Bravo, Jess!

    Humorous, Insightful, Authentic, Compelling with a distinct voice, On point & Perfect Length!!

    Smiled w embarrassment because I would have said, “No,” to Jesus, too. Truth is, I occasionally still do.

    Thank you for this!
    ~ Adriene Jordan

    BTW: Am a big fan of your Mom’s from a distance. Adding you!

    [Attend The City Church DC. Pastored by your amazing friends, Michael & Heather Giroux]

  11. Danielle May 10, 2016 at 9:34 am - Reply

    I enjoyed this so much. Your writing style is relatable (and funny!), and I’m walking away looking at this topic from a new angle. Thanks for sharing. Looking forward now to checking out your site. – Danielle, http://www.sphereofdin.com

  12. Whitney June 12, 2016 at 3:32 am - Reply

    Love this!!!

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